Celine is a French name which means “Heaven” or “heavenly”. To be honest, when Jon and I were picking a name for our daughter we absolutely fell in love with the sound of the name Celine. I however, admit struggling with the fact that it meant “heaven.” I refused to entertain the thought of heaven and my little princess. I wanted her to have a wonderful life on earth, grow up to give me many beautiful great grandchildren, and then long after I’ve gone to be with Jesus, she can meet me in Heaven. As it turns out, our Heavenly Father had different plans and He certainly knew my daughter by name. A week before we lost her heartbeat, Jon found out that Celine also meant “to shine” in old greek. I thought, that’s perfect! She will shine for Jesus. I brushed my hesitations aside and we decided to call her Celine. Little did we know, that a few days later, the Lord really would take her to heaven. She was never meant to walk this earth…my Celine was created for life in Heaven.
When experiencing a miscarriage or a stillbirth, I thank the Lord that we can have full assurance that our baby is in heaven. Although you may never have seen or held your child, if you have a relationship with Jesus, one day you will hold your baby in a place where there is no death and pain. That place is called Heaven.
Gabrielle is a Hebrew name which means “God is my strength.” Even before our baby was conceived, Jon and I both loved this name. We disagreed on plenty of names, but this one was a clear winner for both of us. We wanted our daughter to be a woman whose strength came from the Lord. As we would pray for her early in the pregnancy, we started to sense God showing us a bit of her personality and confirming the name Gabrielle. I loved to think of her as a girl who is strong and brave in pursuing Jesus. I imagined that one day God would call her to do something great for the Kingdom, and she would, because He was her strength.
I later on found out that this name would mean more to me than it would to her. In this journey through grief, I have found that without God as your strength, there is no way to make it through. The pain is just too deep. When you lose a child, your heart shatters into many small pieces that it appears to be beyond repair. Sure, you may choose to ignore the hurt and go on with your life, but the stain of death would have already scarred you deeply. The only way to truly have our hearts restored is to come to the Lord for strength. He comforts us in our pain and gives us the courage to face the future. With Him as our strength and our shield, we can praise Him in the storm….and soon, our hearts will leap for joy again!
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. – Psalm 28:7
“Sure, you may choose to ignore the hurt and go on with your life, but the stain of death would have already scarred you deeply. The only way to truly have our hearts restored is to come to the Lord for strength. He comforts us in our pain and gives us the courage to face the future. “